Wednesday, May 19, 2010

'Round and 'round I go

I have a little over three weeks until I turn in my notice at my job. I am getting really nervous about it and am starting to worry that I am doing the wrong thing. There are so many great benefits to getting my CNA however, I am really concerned as to how we are going to pay for Nursing School. We have saved so much money over the past month or so which is great but it won’t be enough to pay for school as we still need some of it to help with bills when I quit. My grandfather has agreed to help us out but I feel so bad about it. I wish we were able to do it on our own. 

I have been thinking over the past few days about staying at my job and just sucking it up by taking my PE class in the evenings and miss seeing my kids for 6 weeks. This will allow us to save up even more than we have already. Every time the thought crosses my mind about staying here though, I get anxious. I have managed to drag through the past few months knowing I wouldn’t be here for much longer. Knowing that there is finally a date set for when I leave this place. Knowing that I will get some more time with my kids before my life is overtaken by Nursing School.

I hate to think that this whole decision is based off of me leaving this job. I would be a liar if I said it wasn’t a HUGE deciding factor in my choice to get my CNA. I am so burnt out at this company and my impatience to get on with my change in life/career is nagging at me constantly.

I wish I could turn my brain off sometimes and just go with the flow of life without all these wishy-washy feelings. I will never understand how one minute, this choice seems to be the best thing for us (me?), and the next, I am flooded with feelings that this may not be the best idea.


  1. Hello!!! Are you in my brain right now??? This has completely said it all for me.. Ok I want you to get out of my head right now.. k?? lol!

  2. Turning in my notice at my job and informing them that I was switching careers was one of the hardest things I've done. They asked me to stay on part time and I have regretted doing so. The steady paycheck is nice but it's a struggle to get through the 20 hours I am required to work. I can't wait until I get into a nursing program so I can finally quit for real!

    Good luck with giving your notice! You should definitely enjoy your time with your kids.

  3. Sometimes the leap of faith winds up paying off huge. Im gonna keep my fingers crossed that whatever you choose will be the best decision!

  4. OK! Multiple head invading happening! Good to hear I am not the only one doing my own head in! LOL! Seems sometimes that figuring out how to get to the study bit is harder than actually studying! Hope it all works out!

  5. That's definitely a very tough decision.

    I'm sure whatever you decide will work out to be the right one for you guys!

  6. Sometimes we have to change our present in order to change our future...I can't remember where I read that, but it is so true. I quit my job a year and a half ago to pursue a BSN and its been so hard and so wonderful. I had to take 44 hrs of prerequisites before I could even apply for nursing school! I could not have done this with out the support of my amazing mother...I'm a single mom. I think it's fantastic that your grandfather has offered to help you while you head down this very scary, but ultimately very rewarding path! You are blessed with a support system and you can do this!

  7. Huge congrats on getting the grade in A&P, tough class.
    I'm so excited and nervous for you at the same time. It's wonderful that your Grandfather has offered to help. Don't feel bad, accept it gracefully when you need it knowing that you will be able to pay him back in the near future whether he may want you to or not.
    I'd love to know where you got your Admission HESI since my youngest who just turned 18 and graduated high school is planning to go to nursing school.
    Keep your chin up and enjoy this little bit of free time, once school ramps up free time will be few and far between.

  8. I second that !- taking Grandpa up on his offer. I would be willing to bet he would be SO PROUD to have a nurse in the family and know he had a part in's what makes us older people proud! I have sent money to my struggling student nieces and nephews and have been SO PLEASED when in turn they let me take a peek into their lives- keeping me informed of their lives, what they are up to....and their little "HI I LOVE YOU AUNTIE"s on Facebook :)
    As far as the job...don't worry. Take the time off and enjoy your little ones because they are what matter most and are part of the reason for you are furthering your career, right? Plus, you will be making up for the lack of funds once you finish and are making nurse wages!