Excuse me while I regress a few years

**Huge immature childish post ahead.


I need to whine. I need to get my “it’s so unfair” moment out of my system. I do realize I am almost 30 and this is going to make me sound like my 6 year old but frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.

My sister is a 24 year old college graduate. In fact she has had her BS in Biology for about two years now. The girl has held one job her entire life. Over a summer. 4 years ago. She has had every.single.thing handed to her on a silver, sometimes gold, platter. She has never had to work for anything. Her school was entirely paid for. Her room and board has been entirely paid for – and not in the sense of living with the ‘rents. She moved out and went to school in a different state at 18 and has been living off my parents dime the entire time. The girl can’t do anything on her own. She can’t make a decision without someone holding her hand. My mom has asked me SEVERAL times to fly out to where she is to hold her hand and help her find a job. Um, excuse me? You want ME to put my life on hold for several weeks to go help her figure out hers? Why can’t she walk her lazy ass up to the employment office at her college and have THEM help her? Oh, that’s right. Because she needs someone to walk her there.

I am beyond frustrated right now. I realize that I made different choices in life. I chose to quit college and get married shortly after high school. I chose to have children and start a family early. In my defense though, even while I WAS in school, I still had to have a job to pay for my room and board while my grandfather paid for my school. It isn’t like I had the same opportunities that she has been lucky enough to have had for the past 6 years.

I have been working my ass off over the last year to try to do what my sister has been taking for granted. Get an education. I don’t have any free rides or handouts. I struggle. I make my own choices. I research my own options. I worry about my family’s future and the last thing I have available to me is someone here holding my hand through the process. Someone holding out their checkbook for me at every single one of my whims.

My “it’s not fair” moment has stemmed from me recently (as of this morning) finding out that my dear little sister is taking an all expense paid (by the ‘rents) cruise for the summer. Now why does this bother me so much you might ask? Aside from the above, I asked my parents for help with school and was told that they just couldn’t afford it. With my sister still jobless, and them still supporting her, as well as having to support my brother on his mission (they are Mormon. I am obviously NOT – long story), they just don’t have the funds to help me out right now.

It hurts. It hurts that my whole life I have had to work for everything I have. The day I turned 16 I had a job and have had one ever since. I have never asked them for much at all. They have never had to support me like they have had to support my adult sister for the past 6 years. Now, when I really need some help, they can’t, or won’t help because my sister is sucking them dry and they are letting her.

I am angry, and disappointed, and feeling sorry for myself. I know that life it not fair. That doing this on my own will make me appreciate it more, blah, blah, blah. I know this. But right now, I just don’t care.

I am hurt.