Monday, February 1, 2010

Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda

The more I think about it, the more I really wish I could do a BSN program rather than the ADN. Not that there is anything wrong with the ADN. My ultimate goal is to at least get my BSN. Eventually. Unfortunately, financial roadblocks prohibit me from going straight to my BSN. I am already having a tough time figuring out how I am going to pay for my ADN or rather, how my family is going to survive without my income once I get into The Program and quit my job. I have been contemplating taking out some loans to live off for the 2 years I am in school but I haven’t had that conversation with my husband yet. I know he will freak out.

The more I sit here and think about these things, the harder I kick myself in the ass for quitting school 10 years ago. Why didn’t I figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up way back then? Back when I had a free ride and didn’t have a family and high financial obligations to worry about. It’s hard to sit here with regrets though. If I did stay on the school path, I know I wouldn’t have ended up in Nursing, not right away anyways, not to mention that I wouldn’t have had my two amazing little girls. Still, I sit here with regrets, wishing I could have made some different decisions while still keeping some of the same things I have now. Unfortunately, life doesn’t quite work out that way. We can’t all have our cake and eat it too. Sometimes the cake sits there on the table, just out of our reach.

1 comment:

  1. I have asked myself so many times how I didn't realize what I wanted to be in college. I am SUPER in debt from an undergrad loan and the beginning of a graduate loan before realizing it was all completely wrong and finally went back to school to be a nurse, thus digging myself into even further debt. I told a friend how unsure I was because of debt and because I'd be middle-aged by the time I got done school and finally started. His response: "well you're going to be middle-aged anyway, might as well spend it doing what you want to do." I can't say I know anyone who at the end of their life would say, "man you know what, I really wish I paid off my debt before I died."