Pending Trial

The trial for the drunk driver is next week. My husband just got a call from the DA. They want him testify as a character witness for K. He is freaking out. I know he really wants to do it, he just isn’t sure that he can. They said emotion is what they want to see on the stand but he is worried he will just freeze. I am worried that he will break down. I haven’t really seen him express too many emotions toward all of this. Probably because I have been blinded by my own emotions and he has been trying to comfort me through this whole thing. I know he hurts just as much as I do. The four of us were inseparable for many years and his friendship with K is what brought the four of us together in the first place. We were such a great team, the four of us, and we have so many great memories of our times with them. I never really believed in “soul mates” until we became friends. I honestly feel like the four of us were just meant for each other. We all complimented each other so well. It is so rare to find that kind of friendship and it’s gone forever.

I’m sure the pending trial is what is really getting me down lately. I know next week is going to be a rough one. I talked to C’s parents today and they wanted to prepare us for what will happen during the trial. Autopsy pictures will be shown. They have prepared a crash simulation. Basically, the whole night will be relived again in the courtroom. The girl was so wasted that I doubt she even knows what really happened that night, other than she killed two innocent people. I remember when it happened they said she woke up in the hospital not knowing how she got there and they had to tell her what she did.

I wonder if she’s sorry. I wonder if she wakes up every morning and cries. Last time I went to a court hearing for this case I saw her and I felt absolutely no sorrow from her at all. She showed up to her hearing in ratty jeans, tennis shoes, and a big heavy red sweatshirt (and this was in July in the hottest place on earth). She read a book the whole time. I hope I’m wrong though. I really hope that she has some remorse for what she did, for the grief she has caused so many people.

I can’t imagine living with something like that myself.