Things I have learned from my QT at the DMV

• People lack boundaries. Or at least respect of others boundaries. I don't even let my husband get that close to me most of the time (unless he cooks of course)

• It's ok to be proud of your kids but please for the love of anything holy PLEASE stop talking about them like they are the greatest thing on earth. Honors classes? Good job! College courses? Way to go! MykidisthesmartestkidintheschoolcausehescoredanunbelievablyhighscoreonhisACTandhecangetintoanycollegehewantsbecauseheisthesmartestpersonintheworld is just annoying and makes me think you are compensating for your own failings in high school. It's nice to know that "mommy wars" don't just apply to moms, and that they don't stop once your kids get older.

• The DMV (or any other poorly ran government office for that matter) is NOT the place for children. I can only imagine how frustrated your kid is that you brought him to this germ infested place to sit for hours and hours and hours. I am equally as frustrated listening to him scream his ever loving head off while you sit there apologizing to everyone saying "I don't know what's wrong with him! He never acts like this!" (I'm sorry kid. If I could start kicking and screaming without fear of being hauled off in hand cuffs, I would be right there with ya.)

• Not everyone likes privacy. This has been proven to me by the guy who is talking loud enough for the 2000 people to hear about his latest Dr. appointment for his ahem, bowel movements.

• I completely understand why the ladies who work here are always grumpy. I would be too if I had to listen to 45671397 people a day try to make excuses for not having their paperwork and "please can you just make an exception for me".

• There is no such thing as a good drivers license photo and I know exactly why: sitting in this place for hours can really wreak havoc on your desire to "smile pretty" for the photo. By the time you finally get up to the front of the line the only thing you can think about is getting the fuck out of this damn place.

• And finally, I realized I have a LONG way to go when it comes to learning patience.

Thank FSM I don't have to go back to that place for another 10 years. (Unless of course I want to change my horrendous DL photo.)