Friday, June 4, 2010

I have a confession to make

I’m a smoker.

That’s right. I’m a dirty smoker.

When I went to the Dr a few months back and was diagnosed with Bronchitis, my Dr also felt that I might have smoking induced asthma. You see, I have had this cough for a few years now (yes I said years). I never went to see a Dr about it because I was scared it might be something serious. (How’s that for DUMB?) She decided to make me go for a chest X-ray just to check everything out. I will be honest. I was on edge the entire weekend waiting for those results. I was so worried that something was going to be wrong. I mean, it isn’t normal to have a cough for years. Thankfully, everything was clear but it was still pretty scary. I now have an inhaler that helps with my cough.

Still, I didn’t quit.

I have been thinking quite a bit lately about quitting. I want to, but then again I don’t. I can’t explain exactly what it is that makes me not want to quit. If you smoke you know what I mean. If not, well, go on thinking I am crazy.

My Dr prescribed me Zyban to help me quit. I have been hanging on to it for a few months trying to talk myself into committing to quitting. (I love it when I unintentionally rhyme) I always had an excuse why I couldn’t start them. I am happy to say though, that I made the commitment on Tuesday to start taking them and quit smoking. Just right then and there, without any self arguments. I took control and started them.

It will be a long process. I’m a pack a day smoker although I have been able to cut it down over the last few weeks to just over a half a pack. With Zyban, they said to set a “quit date” about two weeks into them so I have set my date as June 15th. There it is in writing. No turning back now. I can’t really tell much of a difference so far in the past 4 days that I have been taking them. I do notice that I am becoming more sensitive to the smell. I can go longer in between them but that could also be from me cutting down before starting this. I plan to keep a journal of sorts to see how each day progresses on this medication and keep track of what I am feeling. Maybe when I get back from my vacation I will post it.

So there you have it. Hopefully in two weeks I will be an ex-smoker.


  1. GOOD LUCK! I quit years ago, but my husband just quit with the help of Chantix. GOOD LUCK to you and CONGRATS on making the commitment.

  2. Great thing about zyban is an antidepressant you can feel good about what you are doing at the same time!

    Good luck to you! As an extra incentive, keep a jar where u can put the money you would have spent on cigs...then treat yourself every once in a while! :)

  3. Wow. Learn something new every day, huh? ;)

    I'm proud of you! While I may not understand the addiction of smoking, I commend you for trying to stop! Just think of how many years you'll get back on your life and how much money you'll save!

    You sound determined, so I have no doubt you'll succeed! Good luck girl :)

  4. Are you in my head again??? LOL! Change a few details and that could be the post I have been putting off writing! I have an appointment tomorrow to get my Zyban so I will be about a week behind you! Good luck and I look forward to comparing Quitter War Stories! But right now I am off to cough up my left lung in the privacy of the cafe toilets so people stop staring at me like I am about to keel over!

  5. My dad was a smoker when I was younger, I used to empty out his cigarette packets and fill them up with rolled up pieces of paper because in my 5-year-old mind I thought he would never know the difference. He quit, for me and my brother because even at 5 it was so clear how much it bothered me and it killed him. When I was a serious smoker of over a pack a day from the age of 16 to 20 he reminded me of this information and I quit cold turkey. It was horrific, and I was a terribly mean person to a lot of people I loved, and just going through that alone made me realize what total garbage cigarettes were to ever have the ability to make me feel like that without having them. I don't know you, but I am super super proud of you.