What to do?

I have decided to quit my job. I have had it. I really can't take the boss from hell anymore and I am tired of leaving the office in tears every day. I decided to get my CNA license and work as a CNA. Not only will it give me some good experience in healthcare before NS but it might be something I could possibly continue to do while I am in Nursing School.

The problem is that I will be making less than half of what I currently make. The Husband and I are going to sit down when he gets back from his out of town trip tonight and go over our finances to see what can be cut. I am serious about this though. I told him I will be putting in my two weeks notice in a few weeks. He knows I am not kidding. He knows it is time to stop screwing around. I am not going to "suck it up and deal" anymore.

I found a CNA course that I am interested in. The day program is 3 weeks and starts in October and the Saturday program is 9 weeks and starts in November. After I complete the course, it will be another 2-3 weeks before I can sit for the State Exam. I know my husband is probably going to ask that I do the weekend program and stay at my job until I have my license and can find a new job as a CNA. While that makes perfect sense, I just don't know if I can handle staying at my job for another 6 months. I am miserable in the worst way there.

I hope that we can come to some kind of resolution tonight on this and figure out how to cut out a ton of expenses quickly. I know I am putting my husband in a really stressful place right now since the burden of taking care of us all financially will be on him but I just can't deal anymore where I am. I really need to make a change and fast.

1st Test

I had my first A&P test tonight. I have been studying my ass of for this test for days. My instructor doesn't give review sheets so I really didn't know what to expect. I feel pretty confident in myself though. There were a couple of questions I know I missed. I went back through the textbook after the test to check on the few that I wasn't sure about. Yep, they were wrong. For the most part though, I think I did really well. I am hoping for at least a low 90. We'll see on Monday! I think I am going to take the next few days and relax a bit. Or maybe I should take this time to catch up in my Psych class. Yep, probably what I should do, but probably not what I will actually do.

Why can’t they just call it a freakin’ cube?

The more we are learning in A&P the more I am absolutely convinced that some scientist was sitting in his little lab looking at a bunch of cells, and thinking of how he could make life difficult for future biology students. (insert mad scientist laugh here) I mean really, why be all difficult about a simple cubed shape cell. Cuboidal? What’s so wrong with cube? Columnar? Why not Column shaped? Squamous? Is it so hard to just name it scale-like or even flat? Is it really necessary to give these cells such crazy names? Why can’t we just call it like we see it?

*sigh* I have a feeling the next few days of my life are going to revolve around nothing but looking at images of tissue cells and dreaming of these Cuboidal, Columnar, and Squamous cells for the next few nights.

Bummer

How quickly one can go from feeling nice and confident, ready to take on the world, to small and insignificant. I didn’t get that job I applied for a while back.

Pretty bummed about it as I was really hoping to get out of my current position with the tyrant now in charge. Time to sit down with the husband and re-evaluate a few things. I honestly don’t think I can stay in this job much longer.

I really wish this path to nursing was a bit shorter. I just want to be a nurse already damn it!

Small boost of confidence

This semester the Biology department decided to make everyone take a “pre-assessment” test to see where we stand in relation to the A&P course we are taking. It was basically a test to weed out those who might not be ready for A&P. If you failed, it is strongly recommended that you drop the course and take an intro to A&P course, which the school so graciously set up an additional class and offers it, free of charge. (Too bad it was not a very convenient time for those of us that work full time jobs – I am in the 6pm class for a reason – nope can’t make it to an 11:30am class). This test, in itself just goes to show you how tough the course is. I mean, why would they feel the need to create this assessment test, and offer an into class free of charge if they don’t feel you can make it. Obviously quite a few people fail out of this course pretty regularly.

The test was pretty basic, a few math questions (averages) some basic chemistry questions, and a few vocabulary questions. I was pretty nervous about it. I haven’t taken a Biology class, let alone a science class, in years. Hell, I haven’t had any need to even think about atoms or cells or molecules since I graduated High School! When I enrolled for this course, I went back and forth, thinking to myself that maybe I really should take gen Bio just to refresh myself on all of this science business. I decided against it because I just want to get these pre-reqs over with already and that “extra” class would hold me up longer than I wanted. I was beginning to feel this might have been a mistake.

My professor had the results in yesterday’s class but only for those who had gotten below 50% on the test. If our name was on that list, it was suggested we take the intro course. All through lab, people were going up to see if they were unfortunate enough to be on that list. Several people walked up, the professor checked and said “nope not on the list, you should stay” and my nerves got worse and worse. The list seemed pretty long, and if all of these people were NOT on the list, surely that was leaving tons of room for MY name to be on the list.

I finally got the courage to walk up to my professor and see if I was doomed. I felt like I was in slow motion walking up there. He seemed to be staring me down the whole way there as if to say, “ah yes, and now the one that really shouldn’t be in here” I had to repeat my last name since the first time I said it, barely any noise came out. He looked over the list and seemed to take an inordinate amount of time checking for my name.

Finally…

NOT ON THE LIST!!! It is recommended that you stay in this course. WOO HOO!!!! I am smart enough after all! I am in the right place! I should be taking this course! You have no idea how great that made me feel. I actually feel like I can do this now. I can get through this class. I haven’t lost everything over the past 10 years that I ever knew about science. I might actually make it. What a boost of confidence that simple little test gave me. I have no idea what my score was. I could have gotten a 51% on it, who knows. But at least I am NOT ON THE LIST! At least I can continue on in this course knowing that yes, this is the right place to be.

I just might make it this semester.