'Round and 'round I go

I have a little over three weeks until I turn in my notice at my job. I am getting really nervous about it and am starting to worry that I am doing the wrong thing. There are so many great benefits to getting my CNA however, I am really concerned as to how we are going to pay for Nursing School. We have saved so much money over the past month or so which is great but it won’t be enough to pay for school as we still need some of it to help with bills when I quit. My grandfather has agreed to help us out but I feel so bad about it. I wish we were able to do it on our own. 

I have been thinking over the past few days about staying at my job and just sucking it up by taking my PE class in the evenings and miss seeing my kids for 6 weeks. This will allow us to save up even more than we have already. Every time the thought crosses my mind about staying here though, I get anxious. I have managed to drag through the past few months knowing I wouldn’t be here for much longer. Knowing that there is finally a date set for when I leave this place. Knowing that I will get some more time with my kids before my life is overtaken by Nursing School.

I hate to think that this whole decision is based off of me leaving this job. I would be a liar if I said it wasn’t a HUGE deciding factor in my choice to get my CNA. I am so burnt out at this company and my impatience to get on with my change in life/career is nagging at me constantly.

I wish I could turn my brain off sometimes and just go with the flow of life without all these wishy-washy feelings. I will never understand how one minute, this choice seems to be the best thing for us (me?), and the next, I am flooded with feelings that this may not be the best idea.