What kind of Nurse are YOU?

I’ve been thinking lately about the different kind of nurses out there. There seems to be the ones that love nursing for the patient interaction. They love helping people. They just really love people.


Then there are the ones that are more technically minded. The ones that love the diseases, the machines, the procedures, the lab values, and of course they kinda like the people too.

I think I fall into the latter category. If I’m being honest, people scare me. Diseases fascinate me. When I was doing my outpatient surgery rotation I was in love with being in that procedure room. I ate up every last word the physicians said about the procedures. I loved looking at the monitors and watching the vital signs of the patient under anesthesia. Being able to see inside that patient’s body was absolutely amazing.

I’m still struggling with my patient communication thing. I have a really hard time talking to the patients. I’m pretty good at reading lab values, looking over the chart, understanding the disease process, and knowing what needs to be done, but when it comes to actually having to have a conversation with them, I still have a really hard time.

I wonder if it is something I am going to get over, or if it is something that will always be difficult for me.

So what kind of Nurse are YOU?

I Hate Med/Surg

I want to start this by saying that I hope I don’t offend any med/surg nurses. It really takes a special person to be a med/surg nurse. I just don’t think that person is me.


Ya know, I have read all the horror stories about how med/surg is. NO ONE seems to like it. When I started this nursing thing I decided to put all those stories out of my head and go into it without any bias. I thought hey, I could surprise myself and actually be one of the few who actually likes it.

WRONG!

I think that might be why I am wavering about nursing lately. Med/Surg flat out sucks. It seems like the nurses there are just drug pushers. They run around like drug dealers trying to shove the next dose of medication down the 5 or 6 patient’s throats (or PEG tubes, or IV’s, or arms). Now I don’t mean for this to sound like anything bad toward M/S nurses at all! I have come to see the stress and the lack of time to do anything but pass meds. I get it. It’s not the nurses at all (I have meet some really great ones in M/S) it’s the job itself.

This week I had the chance to do a rotation in outpatient surgery. I absolutely LOVED it! There seemed to be more focus on the patients and less focus on the medications. It was fast paced. It was interesting. It was actually fun.

I didn’t get to see any actual surgeries, that will come in a few weeks during my OR rotation, but I did get to see an EGD with PEG tube replacement, a colonoscopy, a nerve block, and some pretty gnarly wound care. I LOVED IT! The nurses there seemed to love to teach me, and even the physicians I met were more than thrilled to explain every last detail of the procedures to me.

I’m not looking forward to getting back to the M/S floor.

Called out by a friend

The other day I was out chatting with my neighbor. We have become pretty close in the last 4 years since they moved in. I had asked her a few days earlier if she wouldn’t mind me taking some maternity photos of her to get some practice in with my camera.


She was telling me how she was talking to her husband about me wanting to do this, how he said “what is she into now?” and her responding with “Oh you know her. She can’t stay focused on one thing for too long” (I love her brutal honesty).

I thought about that for a while. She’s absolutely right. I really can’t stay focused on one thing for very long. To be honest, I am already starting to wonder what the hell I am doing in nursing school and if this is really what I want to be doing or not.

Looking back on where I have been, I did notice a pattern of focus-to-the-point-of-obsession on something, only to suddenly drop it and get focused on something completely different. I did kind of know this about myself when I started this Nursing journey. One of the reasons I picked Nursing was for the diversity it brings. Is it going to be enough for me though? Is this something I am going to be able to stay in for the long run or am I going to get bored two, maybe three years in? I’d really hate to think that I am doing all this work for nothing, but I’m only half way through the program and I am already starting to have doubts about my long term future in Nursing. Hell, I’m even already starting to think about the next thing I can focus on (photography – see, completely different direction).

I just can’t figure out what makes me do this.

I might be an overachiever

Just to give you an idea on what I have picked up during my whole 10 day break from school:

• I have started my projects for this years big Halloween party - over the top again this year
• I have become addicted to Pinterest and in turn, have a million and one craft projects going at once
• I have decided I need to learn Spanish so I started Rosetta Stone to try to teach myself scratch that, too much for me so I decided to wait until Christmas break to start this again
• I have picked my photography back up, this time I am serious
• Oh, and I am in Nursing School

Some of this isn't so bad. Most of it really helps me deal with my stress. I love just becoming completely absorbed in some of these projects and I LOVE seeing things when they are finally complete.

Photography is the biggest one. I'm really wanting to improve and maybe if I can get a little better, I might consider doing something professionally. That is, of course, if I can improve. I'm considering starting a new blog documenting my 365 project that I am starting and my growth as a photographer. (I know, I can't even keep up with this one). We'll see.

I just worry I might be overextending myself with all of this during nursing school.

Well Hello There Stranger

I’ve been neglecting this blog. I know. I’m sorry.


When I started this blog I had every intention of keeping a day to day (or at least a few times a week) update of my journey through nursing school but as always, life and everything else gets in the way.

To say the summer semester kicked my ass would be an understatement. It was tough. There were MANY late nights studying for exams that were every week to every other week, MASSIVE amounts of paperwork to do for clinical, and TONS of information to get into my brain in just 12 short weeks. Needless to say, I had no energy or drive to blog. It took everything I had just to get through that semester.

This semester seems to be going a little slower, or at least at a pace I feel like I can keep up with. I’m hoping (but not promising) that I will be able to blog a bit more about my experiences in nursing school, and life in general (since that seems to be just as interesting these days). This semester we will be in the OR, PACU, and preop which might make for some interesting stories.

I really have missed my outlet here.

Finals go a little something like this around here...

Stress r/t nursing school AEB excessive intake of coffee and NSAIDS, chronic late night studying, loss of hair, and delirium.



This time tomorrow I will be on a beach somewhere...

Yes, I might be crazy but at this point I really don't care.

It's mid-semester and my family and I are taking a mini vacation.Things are hectic to say the least. A month ago a friend from nursing school and her 3 kids moved in with me. (yes I said three, so that makes a total of 5 kids under the age of 8 in my house...somebody shoot me). She had some crazy circumstances (no she didn't get a divorce) and had no one to turn to so my husband and I took her in for a year and a half. It's been a little difficult getting used to it all. I'm the type of person who really needs my space and as you can imagine in a house of 8 people, space is limited. On top of that, this semester has been pretty stressful. I'd say I deserve a little vacation in the middle of all this madness.

So the family and I (just mine) are packing up tomorrow morning and heading off to the beach for four days to try to get some relaxation in. Maybe it won't be so bad studying for next week's test with the sand in my toes, the sun shining down on me, and the waves crashing at my feet.

Oh, and I made another A on my F&E test last week (barely). Thanks for all the offers for help! I ended up pulling another all nighter but obviously they work for me as the last two A's have proven. I have a feeling I will have yet another date with 10 cups of coffee and 3 am next week.

Fluid Volume OVERLOAD!!!!

Next week is our exam on Fluid and Electrolytes.

Someone please help me...

Learning experiences come in the least expected ways

It is amazing how different the clinical experiences can be from week to week. Last week my nurse taught me quite a bit. She didn’t really let me do much, but she did teach me tons. This week, my nurse didn’t teach me a thing, or at least not like my first nurse did. She pretty much assigned me a patient and let me have at it. I suppose that in itself taught me as well.


I honestly can’t say one was better than the other. I really enjoyed learning from the nurse in that first week, and it was nice to be able to follow her around and get a feel for things rather than jumping in right from the start. It was also nice to be able to actually do things this week though. Today I was able to attempt to start an IV twice, didn’t get it on either try but neither could my clinical instructor so I didn’t feel so bad. I removed a foley, gave meds and water through a PEG, and hung IV piggyback meds/fluids. I’ve done more today than 80% of the students last semester were able to do during their entire semester.

There was something else I learned today though that I think might be even more valuable than any of these skills.

Not to let anyone scare me away from being who I need to be.

My patient today came with a sitter. A PCT that sat with him all day long, repositioning him and making sure he didn’t rip out his IV (which he did), his PEG (which had to be inserted because he kept ripping out his NG tube), or didn’t fall out of bed.

I went in early to look at my patient (yes, I actually did somewhat of an assessment this time, even though he was unresponsive) and to help my nurse and the tech reposition him. The PCT was pretty snotty with me. Snapping at me about which side of the bed I needed to be on, making snide comments about my technique (or lack thereof), didn’t even acknowledge me when I introduced myself and pretty much scared the crap out of me within my first hour on the floor. I walked out of the room very tempted to try to get my nurse to change my assignment. I sat outside his room staring at his chart and told myself “Self, you can do this. Dealing with people that are hard to get along with is part of the learning process”.

And I did just that.

When I went in next it was to try to start an IV. I was scared shitless and a lot of that fear was of the sitter and not the patient. Before I walked in the room, I tried my best to calm my nerves and just went for it. I ignored the PCT and just let my instructor help me. I have no idea what changed but after that the PCT started warming up to me. When I went in again to help reposition, she was completely opposite from the first time. She was friendly and warm, and again when I went in to remove the foley and was struggling with unclamping the drainage bag she offered to help, as friendly as can be.

If I would have let her get to me in the beginning, and got my assignment changed because of her, I would have missed so many great opportunities. I let people scare me too much. I’m not a crier. I can keep my emotions in check pretty well, but my biggest downfall is letting people scare me.

I’m actually really proud of myself for not letting that happen today.

I am in Paperwork Hell

As the excitement of my first clinical rotation wears off, I am staring down the massive pile of paperwork that I need to turn in by Friday afternoon. I realized that in all the excitement of the day, I really didn’t get a thorough assessment of my patient. In fact, I didn’t get much of an assessment at all. Most of the information I did get was copied from the chart. I can probably fudge most of it for this one, since it is the first care plan we are to turn in, and it is more of a “practice” one than a strictly graded one but I am a little disappointed in myself that I didn’t get the assessment I should have.


All of this makes me realize that while I have come a long way in the self confidence department, actually talking to some people, and getting in there and doing things rather than just being a fly on the wall, I still have a ways to go before I become who I need to. The assertive, confident student nurse.

So now I will get back to this mountain of paperwork, and figure out what I need to do to make sure the next time I am in the hospital, I actually talk to and assess my patient rather than relying on the chart.

I survived.

I had my first clinical rotation today.

I didn’t run from the floor crying.

I didn’t turn into a pile of nervous mush.

I didn’t freeze upon entering my patient’s room.

I didn’t kill anyone.

I DID have an absolutely fantastic time. The nurse I had with me was A-mazing. She used every chance she got to actually teach me. She quizzed me on things like “why does the left lung have three lobes and the right only two?” and when my patient started going south (diaphoretic, nauseous, etc) she calmly talked through checking his blood sugar, and taking his vitals. When his BP popped up at 50/30 she threw him into trendelenburg while quizzing me on why we were doing it. She talked through every step as she hung platelets for the patient who had a level of 7. Explained the reactions we needed to watch for, and talked through exactly what she was doing as she was troubleshooting the IV access line.

Other than the schizophrenic patient who was hitting the nurses, refused to wear clothes, refused his medication, and was constantly stopping his IV infusion, all the patients I had were just as great. They seemed to love having students in there and smiled every time I walked into the room.

This was NOTHING like my mind was making it out to be for the last few weeks. I went to bed last night TERRIFIED of what today was going to be like. I am so glad my fears were unfounded and I can’t wait to get back into the hospital next week!

I came, I saw, I kicked its ASS!

Final grades have been posted for my first semester of Nursing School.


Straight freaking A’s!!!!

I can’t believe I walked out of that semester with A’s in all my classes. I have to be honest though. While there were definitely some stressful moments, and times when I started feeling like I had made the wrong decision, it wasn’t as terrible as I had thought/heard it was supposed to be.

The summer semester, I think, will prove differently. It will be the first time we are all in the hospital. I have been split up from my super bad ass lab partner which really sucks and I have the one instructor that I can’t stand for clinical. Should be interesting.

In the meantime, I have two more weeks off before we start again. This week was wasted away with laziness. Next week I think I might try to hit the job market a little bit more and see what I can find.

Or maybe just keep up the laziness.

Back on the Hunt

Well, I didn't get the job. I am pretty bummed about it. Actually, I am a lot bummed about it.

I thought the interview went really well. The HR manager and I seemed to hit it off quite nicely. Apparently I am not as good at reading people as I thought.

I'm not sure why. When she called to tell me they weren't going to offer employment at this time I was shocked so I just said "ok, thank you" when I really should have added a "why" to that.

So after a few days of sulking, I decided to hit the market again. This time I have a connection at an assisted living facility so hopefully it will pan out a little better for me. It's pretty far though and not even close to a top choice but experience is experience and that is what I really need right now so I need to take what I can get.

Finals Week

Today starts the first of three finals this week. After these finals are over, and of course after I ROCK these finals, I will have made it through my first semester of Nursing School.

It really doesn't seem like I have been a real live nursing student for 5 months now. These last 5 months have completely flown by. I'm not sure if it was just the amount of work that I had to accomplish in the last 5 months, or if I have just been so oblivious to everything but the year is almost half way over and I can barely remember any of it. Either way, I am *this close* to finishing up my first semester as a nursing student.

You better believe after I walk out of that last final on Wednesday I will be heading straight for the local hole in the wall and having myself a nice tall glass of accomplishment in the name of Margarita.

Happy Mothers Day!

These were a few pages in a little book my daughter made for me at school.

"Vens" = Veins

Translation: "Being a Nurse"

Makes my heart melt. 

I have a job interview!!

I got a call today from a local nursing home about an app I had sent in several weeks ago. It was a really nice on the spot phone interview and I think I really impressed the lady. She set up an in-person interview with me next Friday.


They do things a little strange though (or maybe not since this will be my first real experience in the healthcare setting). Apparently, after I interview with her, I will get a chance to interview with the Nurse Managers and such, and if we all decide we like each other, I will do something like a “shadowing” where I follow around another CNA for a day to basically interview them and see if I would like to work there.

This facility is the same chain as the one I did my clinicals at, just at a different location. I had really been holding out hope that I would snag a hospital position but I am starting to realize that is going to be next to impossible until I get some experience under my belt.

So, to all my experienced readers: Can you offer up any tips and advice for my first interview in the healthcare setting? I will be completely honest in saying I don’t have a whole lot of interview experience even outside of healthcare.

Woot! Woot!

I passed my third and final practicum of the semester!!! I could not be more excited at this point. Such a huge accomplishment for me right now and I am so excited!


Granted, I still have three finals to take before I can call this semester O.V.E.R. but still, I feel like I can take written (or computerized) tests any day of the week, but the practicums are where I struggle.

This means I have three more tests (next week) standing between me and the hospital. Three more tests before I can call myself a second semester nursing student, not quite a baby student but not a newbie anymore either. Three more tests before I get my hands on real people!!

Crap.

Three more tests before I have to put my newly learned skills to use on real people.

Nursing School is like running a 10K

You're really excited when you start
and have a lot of energy.

But you do get tired.

Sometimes you just need to tell yourself you can do it,
take a deep breath, and keep going.

Some parts are easy; some parts are hard.

You do get hungry.

And sometimes,

you just need to take a bathroom break.

I'm Overwhelmed

I keep hearing all this talk from my instructors about what is expected of us in our final semester and it makes me think to myself "I can’t do this shit. I am never going to be able to do that."


I realize as we go on I should get more competent and confident but I feel like a complete moron and wonder if I am going to make it.


I just have to keep telling myself “Deep breaths. Remain calm. You can do this.”

I need a J.O.B.

We are pretty broke and it sucks. After I quit my job we continued to live like we never lost my income. (Keep in mind, when I quit, there went half our annual income). Now, it is catching up with us. We are barely making it. My husband’s check hits the bank and at the same time, bills are paid and we are left with nothing to last us half a month.


I am pretty scared about how I am going to be able to pay for not only next semesters tuition, but also how I am going to pay for books, supplies I will need, gas to get to my clinical site every week, and anything else that comes up.

I have been trying to get that CNA job I should have gotten a long time ago. I really hate the thought of having to work while I am also working my ass off in NS but I think it might become a very real possibility that I won’t have a choice.

In my area, none of the hospitals will hire a CNA/PCT without at least 6 months experience. I have been applying to some Nursing Homes and Dementia facilities in my area hoping that one of them will hire me PRN, with no experience. Maybe after I work there for several months I can move on to a hospital.

I just hope I can manage adding yet another thing to the growing hectic family schedule and I really hope that it won’t hurt my studies too much.